I am physically and mentally and emotionally and spiritually tired

Yesterday Lilla got her time to have a nice rant on here, now I feel as though it is my time to shine.

I honestly can’t say that I enjoyed today (apart from seeing the dogs, and having one in my biology lesson). A levels are actually the worst. I’ve never felt more stressed in my life, and I went through November mocks which were the actual worst time of my life excluding today. I just don’t physically understand how I will have any time in my life from now on. I understand that I have chosen to take four subjects which, now I realise, may not have been the best decision as nobody can truly anticipate what it will be like but I just don’t know if I can do it. (for everyones information I think I will continue with my four subjects until I can’t take it any longer (hopefully that won’t happen))

I think I’m just going to explain how my first ever lessons went today. To start off with I would just like to say that I had a completely full day today which is just so nice. I began my day in a maths lesson. I had absolute hell finding the actual classroom which was a lovely start to my day. I sat in my maths lesson and actually wanted to die. It was so terrible. I hate maths. I wish I never chose it. I don’t think that I can actually explain how I felt and how much I just wished to be back in high school maths. At this current point in time, if I have to drop a subject I do believe that it will be maths (soz harris).

Next I had double chemistry. My chemistry teacher is actually really nice and I do kinda like her and chemistry was probably the best lesson I had today which was surprising. I did get a surprise gcse chemistry test which went awfully because I just got annoyed at myself for forgetting so many little details over the 11 week summer. My calculator also died during this lesson which wasn’t great but miraculously it has started working again so thank you to the man in the sky.

Last I had biology which was the lesson I had the dog in. I had a biology test which went as swimmingly as the chemistry one. I did kinda just want to cry during this lesson because I was getting told by the teacher that all I did for gcse isn’t good enough for a level and that I have to work 10x more which is a great feeling.

Therefore, I am already stressed for my a level exams. And to top it all off I have to fork out an absolute fortune on textbooks which I will use for two years. The only thing I’m looking forward to tomorrow is being in philosophy with Lilla, however, it is at Jane Austen and I’ve not really been hearing good things about it. Anyway, tomorrow is a new day and according to everyone I just need to persevere and ‘give it a go’.

peace out- jasmine

p.s if anyone knows of any apprenticeships or literally ANYTHING please do tell me




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