A cursed fiend wrought death, disease, and pain. A blessed friend brought breath, and ease again.

People say you should embrace change. Change is inevitable. You cannot control it. You either use it to your advantage or you let it destroy you. You do not adapt, you do not cope. You may have come across the three Cs’ in your life. Make the Choice, to take the Chance, or your life will never Change. That’s fine. It’s true. But it doesn’t seem to consider you not wanting your life to change. Because change is inevitable. Some people thrive off change, some people need change. Neither of these people are me.

Change is terrifying. I find change terrifying. I don’t like that it is something permanent you cannot take back. You cannot change a change without making another change, which means you have to endure more change, and I would rather just have one change than voluntarily go through more change. And that only applies to some change. There are some things you are just stuck with. Some change is in no way directly related to you, yet you still have the consequences of the change.

I am wrong, in a lot of my beliefs. Funnily enough, I don’t want to change them. That makes me an idiot I think. To see a solution, and still not solve it just because of the challenges I know I will face on the way. I cannot speak for everyone, and I don’t know how many people that applies to. Sometimes I feel like there is no one like me. And of course that is true, because we are all unique etc. But sometimes it feels like a very lonely place. And I think my biggest problem is change. I do not adapt because I don’t want to, and then I am just left, programmed wrong. Nothing works or fits together.

I think I will get there one day, because in the end you have to. I like to think I am taking the scenic route. Something will click, I will find the missing piece. Because in the end, if you don’t change, you will just be left behind.



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