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80th Post

It’s been a while. Again. Jasmine posts a lot more than I do now. Truth be told, the name of this blog is kind of the give away. It’s meant to be positive, and I don’t really like lying. I’m also a first- class avoider, of everything and anything that isn’t easy.

I avoid everything. I live by short term distractions. And I guess my question is, is it okay to avoid things to feel okay? It’s like there is a floodgate between me and everything else, and the other side is just growing, and it’s making me even less inclined to open it.

I keep finding lots of short term solutions to long term problems. I don’t know how long that can last. I am in a hole. With a ladder. To exist in the hole is the short term solution. To climb up the ladder is the long one. I can spend my entire life in the hole, but I will never get anywhere.

Perception is strange. You feel like you see everything, but lots of things creep up on you. And I guess that’s the funniest thing about the subtle knife.

-Lilla

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