Expectations lay the groundwork to our society. We have expectations for everything in our lives. We expect our bread to be perfectly toasted in the morning, or we are expected to not be late to lessons, or we are expected to have a tidy bedroom, or we are expected to always be happy.
One thing I have trouble with is that I feel as though I’m constantly expected to be better than I am. I know that I often put a lot of pressure on myself to be better, but at SIN, I find myself wondering if better is even possible, or if better is good enough anymore. I expect myself to do well but I fear that sometime my expectations are too high.
I find myself thinking about all the amazingly talented kids at SIN and it only makes me realise how painfully average I am. I always knew and expected this would happen. It wasn’t that long ago that Lilla and I were talking about how we would be going from the top to being plain people who are just stinkingly average, but I kinda hoped that I would be better, that I would still be able to come out on top, no matter how hard A-levels would be. However, I now realise how naive I truly was.
I just wish so hard that I could meet my expectations and thrive.