I haven’t written a proper post in quite a while. There is a perfectly valid reason for that, it’s because I’ve been prioritising my studies, and I have been revising really really hard for my first proper mocks. Wrong. I actually just started revising like 20 minutes ago but I’ve already kind of given up. It’s just so hard.
I’m not going to lie to you. There are many reasons why I struggle to revise, the predominant one being I am just really lazy and most of the time I can’t be bothered. Honourably mentions go to being easily distracted, unmotivated, the biggest procrastinator. But to be honest, I find it really hard because I never need to. That sounds incredibly egotistical, but I always seem to wing it on the day, and generally I do ok. That was great. I don’t think it’s going to work this time around. Only I seem to have realised that probably about three weeks too late.
Have you ever had the feeling when you look at something, and realise you might actually be f****d? I’m sorry about the language. Well, not entirely. I think Psychology will be ok, because I generally am quite good at it and it is very content based. History is a complete mess, and I don’t even want to think about Philosophy. There is just soooooo much to remember, like I don’t know the order of which Eastern European countries became communist, and who their leader was, and the percentage of voters on three different elections. And that’s not even thinking about Industrialisation, though that is just so boring and uneventful, I don’t understand how they can expect anyone to remember anything. And that’s not even thinking about Philosophy. Philosophy is really hard.
The funny thing is, and you may think I have given you the opposite impression, but I’m not actually that stressed. I think I have already accepted failure, which annoys myself because I do want to well, because I like getting good grades. But I know I have already disadvantaged myself by not revising until now, and there is definitely a hint of ‘what’s the point’. I will try in the exams. Of course I will try my best. But I think whatever I do, I will be annoyed because I know it will not be the best I could have been. That’s really frustrating because I can say that before I’ve even sat the exam.
As the Funky Bunch motto goes, ‘tomorrow is promised to no one’. And so in a way, not revising for these mocks had been a good thing because I have enjoyed every tomorrow for the last few weeks. I may have to sacrifice a few tomorrows so I don’t come out with three Us. But I still have a year. That’s a really long time. Failing these exams may be the motivation I need to actually start revising (for the real things). If it isn’t, then screw it, I’m just gonna be a college dropout.
After this (100% procrastination blog), I shall go back to revising. Also, you should go listen to the Eagles. They are awesome. If you do, my top 5 recommendations are: Desperado, Take it to the limit, Lyin’ eyes, One of these nights, and Life in the fast lane.